I don’t think a lot of us were expecting to be in this situation. Even before I got laid off I saw others around me dropping out of the work force, people who had seemed to be safe and then suddenly just didn’t have jobs anymore.

For me this marks the end of nine and a half years of full-time employment. Before that I did some freelancing, and a bunch of parenting. So I am not totally freaked now that I am “without a job.” Some freelancing years I had a dozen 1099s. The money came, enough came.

And I could work from here, weed little bits of my garden between emails, cook out of my fridge for breakfast, lunch and dinner, play my music as loud as I wanted.

For the last couple of years I was the last one out of our house every morning, the kids already had been launched toward school and my partner was already headed for work. I would make it to the back door with the required stuff to catch the bus downtown and think, exactly why am I leaving here? This is the house we pay all that damn money for. Plus, it is a lovely place.

I used to have an office in the basement nine and a half years ago, with two desks and a file cabinet, and four phone lines, including a data line and a fax. Now I have a wireless laptop that does everything those machines did and so much more. It seems to like this end of the dining room table, where I can see the bird feeders.

Ah, W-fi. I can write and surf for references and take youtube breaks from anywhere in or around this house. Trukly, this is a miracle. Just because it it now available to everyone makes it no less miraculous. Coming back to this place where I used to work a certain way before, I am seeing that with fresh eyes.

I made a lot more money as a full-timer than I ever did freelancing. But, I’m a simple guy. I don’t want another car or a 60-inch TV or a new laptop every year. Just as long as we have money for microbrew, and the good parmesan cheese, and the occasional library fine.

And good coffee, which thankfully remains fairly affordable if you make it at home.

Nine and a half years is almost 20,000 work hours, hours which are not coming back, some of which could perhaps have been spent in other pursuits.

Not all were horrid hours but plenty were. You know what I mean, if you have a job. The rest of the world can be so annoying sometimes.

So I am taking a few hours to think this situation over carefully.

At any rate, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.